I will not pay to have some crackpot old fool teach him magic tricks.

As you always do. This might sting a little.

Why do men keep talking to me like this?

Hey. Here. Oh, who's the silver fox?

What if Old Nick unwraps me?

Let us tell an old story a new.

He forgets to… Oh, oh he always, he always...

I don't know. Exactly how old do you think I am?

Old Nick. We call him Old Nick. I don't know what his real name is. But he pretended his dog was sick.

Just checking in on an old serial number.

No one wants to hear it. Why, die. Why did he die? Old, told. I was told he was old.

All right, who keeps leaving old newspapers in the trash?

Relax. You're gonna give yourself a stroke.

Oh, dear Lord, get away from me, you monster!

Serena, as usual, you're being overly dramatic.

Something far worse has happened to you.

You know how people are about old serial numbers.

What a lot of candles. That's because you are very very old, Daddy. You must blow out all your candles in one go. I'll do my best.

But Old Nick gets anything, by magic.

Is that why in junior high you were the only one that hung out with that Ukrainian kid?