I'm a warrior and an assassin. I do not dance.

Renaissance fair? More of a medieval, slash, age of enlightenment, slash, any-excuse-to-wear-a-codpiece fair.

You can have your own, you know, health inspector detective show.

How about you? Kitchen, slash, bathroom.

Hey. Oh my. Everyone, this is Chandler. My roommate and lead singer of our band.

No, silly willy. We've been tracking your little secretary/mascot.

Oh, my God. Look at this kitchen/bathroom. That's great. You know, so you can cook while in the tub.

But now, my trusty assistant. I mean, loving wife and colleague will now release her back to her natural habitat.

Howard and Bernadette, the five of us stand before you as your friends and newly ordained ministers.

They call it "Groot." A humanoid plant that's been travelling recently as 89P13's personal houseplant/muscle.

I recognize that man. His name is Bruce Moran. He's an investment advisor and CPA based out of Brooklyn.

I get it. Leonard has no business being involved with a waitress-slash-actress who felt so insecure that she lied to him about finishing community college.

Oh, yes, the waitress slash actress with the unresolved father issues. Has he finally come to terms with his little slugger growing breasts?

So by friend, do you mean friend friend, gay friend, or ex-boyfriend who you're now platonic with but still might have a thing for you friend?

Yes, it's like that Shakespeare sonnet, "Shall I compare thee to a day? That's also a really weird math problem."