Wow. Banker's hours. No wonder you're not on the tenure track.

So their plan for saving the Earth from Armageddon is hoping a bunch of scientists can catch a ball?

But just imagine, a soldier the size of an insect. The ultimate secret weapon.

Sometimes, to love someone, you gotta be a stranger.

Oh, I'll just magically win the race just because I really want to!

If you wish to survive, you need to cultivate a strong mental attitude. You've got to obey the rules. Pandora rules.

You have a strong heart. No fear. But stupid! Ignorant like a child.

Did he have no more teeth? He still had teeth, just no longer sharp.

I was there. I saw a miracle delivered. A perfect little face crying up at me. Mad as thunder.

I used to have so many packages delivered to my house, my dad had to buy Fedex just to save money.

But the trouble is, getting heavy things like people, not to mention space ships, up to such speeds requires unimaginable amounts of energy.

Egypt went crazy, Amanda Bynes went crazier, And the NSA checks our phones like a crazy ex-girlfriend.

Yes, amusing. Extraordinary intelligence might well appear extraterrestrial to you, but let me be more specific. I believe you know why I'm here in the laundry room.

One of the advantages of teaching history is that you don't have to create things. You know, you just have to remember stuff that happened and then parrot it back. You could have fun with that.

Even before the recent threat of our parents fornicating like wrinkly old rabbits. I don't always show it, but you are of great importance to me. Both of you. Thank you.

But one day, if we can develop the tools to accelerate ourselves to similar speeds, then we may regularly send time travelers into the future, bringing with them tales of a long, forgotten past.