No, Squidward, you're a cashier.

Nice try, blockheads.

I totally had sex in the ocean.

Because I always score.

Guys, have you seen Stuart all up in Penny's business over there?

Screw you. My pain is real. You know what? Forget the past.

You might be from Texas, but I'm from New Jersey.

Excuse me, I have a girlfriend. I'm already king of the train store.

Fires live piranhas. Ever seen one before? No, you haven't. I invented it.

I'm applying for a new villain loan. Go by the name of Vector.

Thanks. Squidward. Oh, yeah. Come on, it's time to go back and open up The Krusty Krab.

Don't be sad, Squidward. I left you a little surprise under your shirt.

Sheldon. Double bazinga! I do! Good luck following that.

Crime wave in Gotham. Other breaking news: "Water, wet." Did you file the football yet?

Actually, that was mostly Mycroft's idea. Oh, so it was your brother's plan?

I don't need this lesson. I'm very familiar with the touch screen. Let's just say I put the "Goo" in Google.

Hey, those are my lima beans. Not lima beans, carbon atoms. But if I don't eat my lima beans, I can't have my cookie.

20 years in Gotham, Alfred. We've seen what promises are worth. How many good guys are left. How many stayed that way.

How about if I put you in Von Gerlich's old office? I'd rather have Fishbein's. It's bigger.

That's how I told my high school boyfriend I slept with his brother. That's how I told his brother the same thing.