You know, most frightening, most authentic, most accurate visualization of a scientific principal.

Oh, Daddy, I haven't won a prize yet.

I love the school sports day. Especially when I win a prize.

The prize for the best monkey... Doctor Hamster, he's not a real monkey. He's just pretend. The prize for the best pretend monkey goes to Monkey. Hooray.

Look at these authentic fake medals. I tell you, mom's gonna be voted best dressed at the make-believe military academy.

What do I want? Some credit. When do I want it? Now.

I've been published in peer-reviewed journals, I received a dissertation of the year award for experimental particle physics.

Wow, you won the Stevenson award? Yes. In fact, I am the youngest person ever to win it.

You know, I don't need a reward. If you guys are trying to think of what honor to bestow upon me, don't need it.

Bert? I wanted to let you know that I read your research, and your award is well deserved. Thanks.

Oh, you guys. It starts in, like, 20 minutes. Okay, alright, here we go. So we need to sort through the tickets as quickly as possible to see if we've won.

Oh, no. This is only the prize for the best tortoise. The prize for the best fish goes to Goldie the fish. Hooray.

That's no reason to back out. You know, I once got a pretty big honor in high school, and I was terrified about appearing in front of a big crowd, but I went through with it, and you know what?

Right. I wasn't getting any responses, and then I added, recent $625,000 MacArthur grant winner. And five minutes later, I met my soul mate.

Would you like to try the lucky dip? OK, what do I do? Just pull prize out of the barrel, everyone is winner. Mr. Bull has won an dolly.

The prize for the best gecko goes to the gecko. Hooray. The prize for the pet who looks most like a stick goes to Steven. Hooray.

This has been the experience of two remarkable organizations, The Duke of Edinburgh's Award and the Prince's Trust, which are sixty and forty years old this year.

To that point, it occurs to me that we might have an opportunity to finally snare Best Group Costume if we shore up our weak link, which is clearly Leonard as Superman.

I won? You won. I won. This is astonishing. Not that I won the award no one deserves it more.

"Thank you very much"? What did I do? You got involved with her. You slept with the Tony-nominated star of my play and ruined everything.