I've been watching too much porn.

You must feel horrible. Hey. The guys have free porn. Nah.

I'd know if you weren't, 'cause I just saw your skeleton.

Hey. Hey. What you reading? Oh, it's your brother's Christmas letter.

The tofu's just absorbing the saltiness, the sour. A little bit now of spicy kick, dried chilli flakes.

God. So you're making porn movies. No I'm not. We're still rolling.

Tablets for nerve pain. Now, you can give him painkillers, if he asks.

Glad we came along before some weirdos picked you up. Who wants apple slices? Ahh. Apple.

Cigarettes and razor blades and sex. It was terrifying. All I wanted to do was get out of this room that I worked so hard to get in.

There's less time, because the time has to be spread extra thin over all the places, like butter.

Now the wok is still hot, so very quickly I'm going to add in the shitake mushrooms. And then give that a good stir.

You don't have any secrets. Oh yeah? Well, you don't know about Hugsy, my bedtime penguin pal.

So for our next shop, it's time to face it. The future of noodles is dice-cut vegetables, no longer slices.

She was married to a gay ice dancer. She gave birth to her brother's triplets. Oh. Oh. Her twin sister used to do porn.

It's like going with your grandpa. Instead of eating popcorn, he brings little pieces of chicken in Tupperware and a thermos full of soup.

Look at us. Digging through drawers, hoping that a couple of cough drops and some disinfectant might be the difference between dying and living a couple of more hours.

I got shaving cream, razor blades, toothpaste. And new clothes. What, did you think we were ninjas?

For future reference, if I want to watch Mean Girls, I'll stream it on Netflix. We're sorry. What do you need?

So, we're all standing around looking at the post-op x ray and there it is, clear as day, right in the guy's chest cavity, one of my earrings.

You're trying to figure out where you know me from? All right, I'll give you a hint. From porn. Okay? Yeah your pervert boyfriend watched me in a porno movie. See? Yeah.