Okay. Why don't you get the kids some snacks to tide them over, and I will go call my parents.

You need to put something in your stomach, William. Toast, pills, juice. That's the order. Okay?

Oh, I see you moved the green ottoman. How did that happen?

She calls it "The bosom's welcome mat."

Do what? Well, you probably don't remember this. But, a while back, you gave us some money for a down payment.

You used my toothbrush? Not the brush part just the little rubber thing to pick food from my teeth and massage my gums.

Coming through! Oh, what do we got? Human pincushion. Kathleen Kane, 38. Woman versus shattered baseball bat.

How about we whoopee cushion on his office chair? He'll sit down, it'll sound like he's flatulent, even though he's not.