You mean to tell me that if I put you in at Unicare by the 7 and took you out at 32. Texas Instruments at 11 and took you out at 47. U.S. Steel at 16, took you out at 41.

The last minute fare on this ticket is twenty seven hundred dollars.

This is nice. I pay two hundred dollars for dinner, you put down twenty, and you come out looking like Mr. Big Shot.

All I had to do was pay $25 and wait in line for three hours.

Ah, sir a ticket to Yemen is $2,100 and we don't take library cards.

What is this? Who put a twenty down here?

You think I like having 50 dollars taken out of my bank account every month?

But you know what? I have my drivers license and I have a twenty.

Yes. I have these two rather beautiful five-dollar bills. I'll give you $1 for them.

In fact, I'll bet you 50 bucks that you can't go the whole year without making fun of us. You know what, better yet? A week.

Hey guys, do you realize that if I had invested my $127 in myself yesterday that I'd like have a lot more than that today.

Wow, this is really soft. Three hundred and fifty dollars? Down from 700. You're saving, like, 200 bucks.

I figured out I need to charge seventeen bucks a jar just to break even. So, I've got a new plan now. Babies.

For $500, you can come here and slap my spoiled, clueless face. And cut. Pretty good, huh?

Monica's big night, she shouldn't pay. Oh, thank you! So five of us is, $33.50 apiece.

For $10, I'll send them a selfie in the new pants that they bought. For $20, I'll send them a selfie without pants.

I'll take that bet my friend. And you know what, paying me the 50 bucks could be the new thing you do that day. And it starts right now.

Okay, so when I got a fine for leaving my clothes in the dryer for too long, that was from you? $14.99. The exact price of a new gavel.